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Being Forty Is Not The End Of The World!

I am forty today.  How am I coping with being forty?  Well, I am learning to find joy in small things like dancing with my daughter at home, tickling each other with her and my husband, or just sitting in the park near my apartement, day-dreaming!  How beautiful my life is!

I dread before today, afraid of being forty.I started notice wrinkles in my face, eye bags, jowl, grey hair. I never thought I could have all of those! But I do now.

But hey, what was I thinking about? I have a nice loving family, a beautiful job, a nice home, good health, strong faith, what else I could ask for? Besides, I know myself better than I did at twenty. I still feel attractive altough I don't wear high heels or full make up. I let myself go, no longer trying to please myself and anyone else with my look. I feel free!

I will just do my best for myself, my family and others and not thinking too much about something I can't control.

Thank God I am forty!

Sometimes I wish I was someone else

Have you ever wonder what it's like to be someone else? I do think a lot about it lately. Especially on my birthday, last First of June. God, I wish you could give me just one day to be someone else. To be without those rules, those roles, those boundaries, those responsibilities. I wish I was someone else who doesn't have to be in control of almost everything.

I wish I could be a bird, or a mountain-hiker, or an ER doctor, or an artist, or...just some characters in the books that only I myself have the authority to write all he stories.

Would I be happy? Would it be really as beautiful as I think?

Sometimes, the urge is there and I know I just what I need to do: hold my daughter tight and tell her I love her so much.

Maybe I should really write my own stories someday, whether it's a fantasy or a memoir, a magazine article, or even a TV script.

Hope the writer's block is not there....

Indah

That nice, sweet girl just got shot!

This morning I was really shocked when parents at my daughter's school were talking about Nassay got shot. Oh my god, that cute, little girl?!! She is just a baby, she didn't do anything wrong. All she did was sitting in her porch and then just like that, got shot!. It' really unfair. The world sometimes seems so unfair. She didn't deserve that. And I can't imagine what's Nassay's mom is going through right now. The mom is a high school student, who goes to the high school at the same building as Nassay's school. God, life was already hard for this young woman, why You give her more trouble?

The parents were talking about how the school's picture was on the news all the time, about her surgery to save her life and her leg, about the criminality in South Philadelphia. This morning was suppossed to be a beautiful day for the kids since it was a graduation and a move-up party. But without one of our own kids, the party was not that special.

I was impressed and touched as Ms. Jenkins, one of the teachers, talked about keeping the children safe in this bad world. Keep them close, watch them all the time, and PRAY that everything's going to be allright.

God, please give us guidance to save our kids.

Nassay, I wish you the best and hope to see your smile soon.

Rania's mom

My Life in Philadelphia

My Life in Philadelphia May 23, 2006                                         I have been living for about 5 years in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. I could say that I have great memories as well as the sad ones. But I am grateful that I am able to live here for that long. Philadelphia is the 5th biggest city in the US, and the second in the East Coast. With about 1.5 million people, Philadelphia is not as big as Jakarta (off-course), but this city has many features that a big and modern city usually has: hospitals, universities, schools, banks, malls, tourists sites, jobs, etc. I feel blessed for the health care system here, for the education, media (although my fellow journalists critize the system), the transportation (I mean the highway and road system), the salary system, and the legal system. I hope, one day, I could go back to Indonesia and adapt some of the best from the US in my homeland country. I just want to say, God, thank you for the opportunities to live and work here, in the city that loves you back. Indah, Philly, May 23, 2006                              Edit | Delete | Share Write a new entry

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My Life As A Mom

Being a mom is one of the wonderful jobs that I ever have. I thought, I was ready to be a mom, altough I was already 35-year-old when I had Rania. Still, I was (and am) not. I think nobody's really ready to become a mom. How can you ever be ready to work around the clock without knowing exactly when to have a rest?

Sometimes I just wonder, what life would be if I had have Rania 5 years ago? God, I still don't know whether I am a good mother for her, or not. I wish I am. Whatever it is, God please let me be there whenever she needs me.

For all beautiful children out there : You are so precious, I wish I could shower all of you with my love

Rania's Mom